{"product_id":"if-i-had-feelings-funny-candle","title":"If I Had Feelings Funny Candle","description":"\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eTHE ULTIMATE SAVAGE GAG GIFT:\u003c\/b\u003e Sarcastic, petty, and perfectly blunt. This candle is the best way to tell someone exactly where they stand (which is nowhere). Ideal for breakup survival kits, white elephant parties, or just to keep on your desk to ward off unwanted attention.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003e100 HOURS OF COLD TRUTH:\u003c\/b\u003e Feelings might be temporary, but this candle isn't. Our massive 16.5oz mason jar candles offer an \u003cb\u003e80–100 hour burn time\u003c\/b\u003e, giving you plenty of time to enjoy your own company in peace.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eFARM-POURED \u0026amp; HEARTLESS:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cspan class=\"citation-46\"\u003e Hand-poured on our family farm in Lebanon, Missouri, using \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003cspan class=\"citation-46\"\u003e100% natural soy wax\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cspan class=\"citation-46 citation-end-46\"\u003e.\u003csup data-turn-source-index=\"1\" class=\"superscript\"\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c\/sup\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e It provides a clean, non-toxic burn that clears the air of \"catchin' feelings\" and replaces it with premium, farm-fresh fragrance.\u003c!----\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"source-inline-chip-container ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\n\u003cbutton data-ved=\"0CAAQvoAQahgKEwjqx6-ljsWRAxUAAAAAHQAAAAAQmQY\" data-hveid=\"0\" aria-label=\"View source details for citation from Buy Missouri. Opens side panel.\" class=\"button ng-star-inserted\"\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c\/button\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\u003c!----\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eSCENTS FOR THE EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE:\u003c\/b\u003e From the \"Clean Slate\" vibes of \u003cb\u003eFresh Linen\u003c\/b\u003e to the dark, sophisticated notes of \u003cb\u003eSandalwood \u0026amp; Suede\u003c\/b\u003e, our scents are designed for those who prefer high-quality fragrance over high-maintenance relationships.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eDURABLE \u0026amp; REUSABLE MASON JAR:\u003c\/b\u003e Our heavy-duty glass jars are as tough as your heart. Once you’ve burned through the 100 hours of peak sarcasm, clean it out and reuse it for storage or a cold drink.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e\"No Feelings\" Scent Menu (The Savage Edition)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eSandalwood \u0026amp; Suede (The \"Ice Queen\/King\" Scent):\u003c\/b\u003e A rich, complex blend of \u003cb\u003edark chocolate, cedar, and velvet musk\u003c\/b\u003e. It’s sophisticated, grounding, and smells like someone who is far too busy being successful to have \"feelings.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eFresh Linen (The \"Clean Break\" Choice):\u003c\/b\u003e A crisp, airy blend of \u003cb\u003epowder and musk\u003c\/b\u003e. It smells like a fresh start, a clean house, and the beautiful silence of not caring about anyone’s drama.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eSun Washed Citrus (Bright \u0026amp; Unbothered):\u003c\/b\u003e Zesty \u003cb\u003elemon and agave\u003c\/b\u003e create a refreshing, sharp atmosphere. It’s the perfect \"mood-booster\" for someone who is perfectly happy exactly as they are.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,3,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eBlack Raspberry Vanilla (Sweet Sarcasm):\u003c\/b\u003e Our #1 bestseller. A luscious blend of \u003cb\u003eripe berries and creamy vanilla\u003c\/b\u003e. It’s the sweet reward you give yourself for having excellent boundaries.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,4,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eApples \u0026amp; Bourbon (The \"Cold Comfort\" Scent):\u003c\/b\u003e Warm \u003cb\u003eorchard apples and smooth bourbon\u003c\/b\u003e. A strong, inviting fragrance for toasting to the fact that you’re staying single and loving it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,5,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eButt Naked (Tropical \"Solo\" Vacation):\u003c\/b\u003e A fun, fruity explosion of \u003cb\u003emelon, pear, and strawberry\u003c\/b\u003e. Because you're having way too much fun on your own to worry about anyone else's feelings.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,6,0\"\u003e\u003cb\u003eFresh Cut Roses (I Can Buy Myself Flowers):\u003c\/b\u003e A true, deep \u003cb\u003erose fragrance\u003c\/b\u003e. Proof that you can enjoy the romance of a bouquet without the actual headache of a person attached to it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Lebanon Candle Company","offers":[{"title":"Apples \u0026 Bourbon","offer_id":43883899748430,"sku":"Vday-NOfeel-APPLEBOURBON","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black Raspberry \u0026 Vanilla","offer_id":43883899781198,"sku":"Vday-NOfeel-BRV","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Butt Naked","offer_id":43883899813966,"sku":"Vday-NOfeel-BUTT","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fresh Cut Roses","offer_id":43883899846734,"sku":"Vday-NOfeel-ROSES","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fresh Linen","offer_id":43883899879502,"sku":"Vday-NOfeel-LINEN","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sandalwood \u0026 Suede","offer_id":43883899912270,"sku":"Vday-NOfeel-SANDALWOOD","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sun Washed Citrus","offer_id":43883899945038,"sku":"Vday-NOfeel-SUNWASHED","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0742\/0893\/6014\/files\/Wouldn_tBeforYouCandle_f8a61dca-d6ac-44b4-931f-8bdeadc8d9fd.jpg?v=1782009573","url":"https:\/\/whimsandwins.com\/products\/if-i-had-feelings-funny-candle","provider":"Whims \u0026 Wins","version":"1.0","type":"link"}